Gratitude

You know when it’s real.

Ok, that was cheesy, and I totally stole it from Wendy’s (which only ups the cheese factor. get it? haha.) But seriously, I think there comes a point in life where you have a profound sense of what you should be grateful for.

Teenage is not that age.

Since coming home for the second half of the semester, I’ve had the privilege of observing my younger, 18 year old sister, who is a senior in high school, experience what I’m sure is the most frustrating time of her life. College applications, standardized tests, gymnastics training, raging parties, friend drama, and plain old high school to top it off. She feels as if the world is against her, that I’m against her, and that whatever she puts out will not be rewarded. So why bother? It’s easier for her to just throw out phrases like, “I’m just stupid,” or a simple “Fuck this,” when she tries her best, yet still fails. And even easier to state, “I’m 18, I can do what I want.”

With that mindset, it’s difficult to find the motivation to earn respect.

For instance, tonight my mom told my sister that she needed to come home on time tonight, because she had an important day tomorrow and needed to get to sleep on time. My sister agreed. Instead of coming home around midnight,a however, she showed up at 10 PM and informed us that she was going to have a bonfire in the backyard. People were already on their way over; to late to cancel. Hehe.

Well, she only started to usher them out at 11:45 PM when I called down and told her, and then, completely missing the point of a curfew, took her friends home, leaving some of the bonfire burning. Idiot. And then she acted pissed when she had to keep bringing down buckets of water to put it out. Typical of most of our arguments over this matter, I subtly berated her about her lack of respect, and she closed it with, “Well you know what? You don’t know shit, Erica.”

That’s all she’s really got on me. I’m cool with it.

I just wish I could take her on a flight through what I’ve come to know in the 2.5 more years I have on her. We have so many things to be grateful for, not least of which includes:

  1. A mom (and dad).
  2. A house.
  3. Friends.
  4. Friends that happen to be cute boys.
  5. Wood to make a fire.
  6. Car to drive friends home.
  7. Uggs to stomp around in the dirt.
  8. Legal curfews that aren’t strictly enforced.
  9. Oblivious (or maybe hard of hearing) neighbors.
  10. Oh, I don’t know…life?

She’ll learn one day that the world is not against her. As she herself would say, shit happens. To EVERYONE. It’s part of life!

And bad mistakes? I’ve made a few.

Ok, quite a few.

And I keep making them, but I don’t care. I’m happy not to be..

a ball of teenage angst…

…or a walking zombie…

…or an uptight perfectionist.

I’m 20 years old, and I’m so grateful to be alive.

 

 

 

 

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